Category: original: brooklyn nine-nine

Danny: And it’s Jessica, right? I mean, she’s a badass. She’s the toughest of all of us. No offense, guys.
Luke: No, that’s accurate.
Matt: Very fair.

Jessica: What’s wrong with the way I dress?
Luke: You know, some people might say that all the black leather kind of makes you look like an evil villain.
Jessica: [glares]
Luke: Not me. I think you look like a sexy motorcycle.

Frank: Lieberman, brief me on the situation.
Micro: Helpful hint to the scientists who programmed you, most people say hello at the beginning of a conversation. Another helpful hint-
Frank: Goodbye, Lieberman.

Matt: Danny, you’re in charge. Take Luke and Colleen.
Danny: Yes! My fantasy threesome!
Danny: Of Defenders on a mission.

Karen: Listen guys, Frank and I were talking last night-
Micro: Pillow talk alert! Set the scene: spooning or face-to-face?
Frank: Lieberman!
Micro: [whispers] Spooning.

Danny: And once again, the Iron Fist and Power Man save the day.
Claire: You didn’t do anything. It was all Luke.
Danny: We’re a package deal. Everyone knows that.

Matt: Claire said that I was perfectly fine. Except for three cracked ribs and a broken toe, which was right next to two other broken toes.
Foggy: Did she clear you or not?
Matt: She did not. Alright, let’s go.

Danny: I think I speak for all of us-
Everyone: He doesn’t.