Category: original: friends

Malcolm: I’m not trying to irritate you.
Jessica: Well then, you just must have a natural talent for it.

Jessica: I’m going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?
Luke: I’ll have a latte.
Matt: I’ll have a blueberry muffin with a decaf.
Danny: I’ll have a bagel with a little-
Jessica: Get it yourself. I was just being polite.

Matt: I brought reinforcements.
Claire: You brought Luke?
Matt: Um… no, but I brought the next best thing.
[Danny walks in.]
Danny: Hey.
Claire: Danny? You brought Danny? The next best thing would have been Jessica!
Danny: Normally I’d be offended, but she is freakishly strong.

Colleen: My New Year’s Resolution is to pilot a commercial jet plane.
Danny: That’s great, Colleen. Now all you have to do is find a plane load of people whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths.

Danny: Don’t get mad, okay?
Jessica: Don’t give me a reason to get mad, okay?

Jessica: Danny, relax. Go get a beer.
Danny: I don’t want a beer.
Jessica: Who said it was for you?

Colleen: What are we going to do?
Danny: I don’t know. Maybe pizza?
Colleen: About the Hand!