Category: source: brooklyn nine nine


Elektra: *dies*

Matt: Everything is garbage. Never love anything.

Foggy & Karen: ᵘᵐ

Frank *handing Matt a glass of water*: Here, I hope this will do.

Matt: It’s perfect. Thanks for inviting us in.

Frank: I invited Karen in. You were with her.

[Ward to his employees about their messy offices]

Ward: Look at this place! Half-eaten food, pictures of your families…

Employee: What’s wrong with pictures?

Ward: If you love someone, you’ll remember what they look like.

“Psychologists are just people who aren’t smart enough to be psychics”

-Colleen Wing

[Upon Luke returning from a much needed vacation]

Danny: Luke Cage is back, man! Chest-bump me:

Luke: Naw, you don’t wanna do that.

Danny: But I really do!

Luke: It hurts you every time.

Danny: No, I know, but I’m fired up! The adrenaline is going to carry me through this time. Ready?

Luke: *lunges*

Danny: Here we go!

“I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying”


[On a date]

Matt: I got to go.

Karen: Aren’t you forgetting something?

Matt: Uh…*kisses Karen on the head*

Karen: No, pay your bill!

Karen: Man, who raised you?

Danny: This envelope contains my inheritance from my uncle; he died a few months ago. He was so rich, he had a whole room just to eat in.
Luke: You mean like a dining room?
Danny: Yeah, but in Manhattan.
Luke: Oh, dang.
Danny: Now, just because I’m richer than ever doesn’t mean I’m gonna forget that I was mostly raised by monks. You all get something so fire away.
Matt: Danny, your friendship is gift enough for me.
Jessica: Friendship is crap; I want a Ducati Monster 821.
Danny: Alright; Jessica gets a motorcycle.
Claire: Oh, cool. I want a fast sports car.
Danny: Come on; you can be honest.
Claire: Alright, then. I want old, expensive books; I’ll send you a list.
Danny: There you go! Now,let’s find out how much I’m worth…ah, I’m too nervous. Luke, you do it.
Luke: [Opens envelope] It’s stock! One million shares!
Danny: Oh-my-goodness!!!
Luke: …In Blockbuster Video stock.
Luke: [Hands envelope back to Danny]
All except Danny: [Goes back to what they were doing is disappointment]
Danny: What? Is that bad? I still have a Blockbuster Card! WHAT HAPPENED TO BLOCKBUSTER!?!?